The vibe we are getting from the corporate avenues is that Econet Wireless/Essar (someone) has sold Yu to MTN. So far it sounds like a done deal which I think is cool. I spoke to Philip Mudimu a couple of weeks ago and he mentioned that everything was cool. I was a bit suprised. Anyway, if this shit gets me arrested, @chiefofsurgery, the bail money is inside the sugar bowl in my crib since my room mate moved out…
So I was actually asked to write this blog post about where we are today in Kenya regarding technology which is one of the key business of Kenya. Actually, the dude asked me for my opinion so I am so gonna let it go. Before he asked me to write all this BS, he told me, and this is the best business advice you can ever have, if you want to get seriously paid, get Indians and Kikuyus on your Board Of Directors. Forget everyone else. I will not say anything else about the rest of the tribes in Kenya. He was specific.
1. Vodafone which has interests in Safaricom, Orange/Telkom (???) and Essar (???), CCK, .ke government, kitchen cabinet, Muthaiga golf club and Pauls Cookiemans makes for extremely bad business practices. But TIA. So fuck all of you who have a problem in this. No swearing.
2. Communication Commission of Kenya (CCK) is an irrelevant department of the government alongside the ICT Board, making Dr. Bitange Ndemo and Mr. Paul Kukubo (CEO of ICT Board) merely seem like are puppets and cave dwellers. Yes I said it. If the ICT Board which is always seeking ideas needs ideas, here is one. Number Porting. Make me believe in you by actively participating in getting the CCK to allow this. Do this one simple act and follow through and I will blog a whole apology to you guys. In caps even. Be an advocate not a puppet. The ICT board is using questionable technology practices are are using more shims to go. ICT Board is irrelevant seriously irrelevant.
3. With references to point number 2, Zain will become profitable the day number porting is allowed. So will Orange Mobile and Econet (????). Without number porting, this is still a monopoly. The government only allowed other mobile networks to come into Kenya to allow for a semblance of competition. Kenya has one mobile provider called CCK Safaricom.
4. Government has no business doing business. Stay the fuck out of business. Go collect revenue, feed people, build roads and rob us blind. Try get us back Migingo Islands back from those matoke eating bastards the Ugandans!!!
5. Pasha Centers? WTF??? What the hell is a Pasha Center? Why haven’t I seen one? I don’t believe for one second that the ICT board really cares about small ICT businesses. I mean, this guys haven’t been round to my office to offer some assistance or options and shit. What do they really do? Are they ill-fated like the Post Office Internet project? Can the CCK invest? IPO??? BPO??? That all? Don’t kid us with this bull shit.
6. ICT board is quite fast becoming a Joomla Template business. Seems like its all the are doing. I know. I’m guilty of it to but not like them.
7. Google has a great business model, excellent food and brilliant offices, but they are blatantly taking advantage of us. I had a great time there, and no I will not blog about it cause most of this crap you already know, but I will say that the food was excellent, the people were great, offices, damn, how do I get one as good as that, but the monster, very questionable. How comes everyone who visits Google and has lunch always talks about the food first? Its just plain food made good. They even call it corn and beans. Githeri… Now had they called it corn and beans when I was in High School, maybe I would have got an A in KCSE and not a D+.
8. KTN is a biased TV station that should have been shut down. Not because I am in bed with the enemy but because they are just fucked up. CCK need something to do (really), close KTN down or at the least censure them. There is something seriously wrong at KTN. Lack of standards? Tabloidism??? Bullshit?
9. I stopped blaming Raila for his own stupidity and started blaming the Ugandans on Migingo island for that shit. You can’t blame him. He is as smart as the come. Atleast he is not boning a Priest unlike others… And you cannot blame Ruto either. Evolution can be a bitch for some. I even stopped blaming Kibaki. He has done so much wonderful things for us. You just have to understand and see it from our point of view, its really a great idea and beneficial to those who it matters to, we need to fence off Muthaiga Golf club from Mathare. Security. I seriously hope they don’t fuck with the fibre optic cable business. We have bribed lobbyied way too many people to get it unrestricted.
10. The mutherfucking cable is here. Yay. Clap you ungrateful bastards… @Bankelele is in charge of all bribes, kickbacks, or as Americans call it lobbying (WTF???) so that we can connect you first and @kaboro told me he has some “fibre” available for sale. Its called Business Process Outsourcing. Beginning of FTTH.
Kahenya
