Only for those with a bloody sense of humour. The rest of you can go fuck yourselves.

Hi.

Its me. Guess you were not joking. That Baringo shit was right there mighty good shit. I’m great except for this small issue. But guess we need to clear the air in public. I haven’t got secrets. Have you?

1. I know its a touchy issue and Moses sure as hell was getting high before me. You gonna hold that against me? Just need to know.

2. She told me she was 18 and I know we talked about this in detail, as well as with the Dept Of Corrections in the State of New York. That’s behind us right? Cause you know I hit that again after that conversation.

3. I did not mean to say Mother Theresa and the Pope got it on. I spoke with John last week, and we agreed that it was behind us. Gandhi agreed too, and he said we can let bygones be bygones. Hoping we are cool on this one too.

4. I’ve been mad since you took Melat from me, and Derartu, well she done went and did you know what, and now well, my new friend, well that’s gone South. Maybe she is mad at me for some shit I said or did not say or some shit I should have done or did not do. I don’t know. She is a nice person, a bit distant but Jesus (that’s your Son), I tried to be a gentleman. I could find the answer in The Songs of Solomon. Ah well. That’s yours now. I can’t do much else.

5. Jesus, still hope you are not mad about the numerous lotto requests. South Africa, Euro Lotto, you know the craze. You give me a shot at life again, I’ll see about buying you a Euro lotto ticket. Heard your dad wants to do an IPO. I know this banker called @bankelele. Surely we can work something out.

6. I’ve been curious, compiler, did Adam hit that or are we talking a real apple? Did he choke on it?

7. I know I made an unfair comment about Noah and global warming. Look, Al Gore drove a solid argument, I was confused as hell. That there was a cool fix though. 40 days and 40 nights. Way the world is right now, we could sure use some of that again. I have to pick the ships crew. A bunch of niggers from Somalia will probably hijack us anyway.

8. I know I’ve been running away from your houses, and there is the nun issue, and I know I nearly murdered that Catholic priest dude (I know those don’t count), but you know me. I can’t promise I’ll be in another one again soon, but I’m with you. We are cool. I’m not mad at you anymore about point 4. You forgive so I guess I have to forgive too. And you were trying to teach me something.

9. Is Gino there? He lost weight?

10. I’ve run out of shit to say, but I’ll say thanks. This isn’t probably it, but you are on the controller right. So I have to prepare incase shit happens. And in my case, it happens a lot.